i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
