drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
