My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I woke up under a house in Key West
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