bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
