I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize