3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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