Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
