If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
