why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
