Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
