Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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