Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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