why didn't you poke me back
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize