i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
