Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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