remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
