I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
