Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
