The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
