nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
