my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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