scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
