Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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