Got a toothbrush?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Found your dick twin last night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
