pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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