oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
