K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
