It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I party with great urgency now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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