Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize