who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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