I hate all girls vehemently.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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