the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
