end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize