Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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