i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
