Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
