Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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