I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
