i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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