I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize