It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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