who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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