OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
