got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
