Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
