So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
