Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
