I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
