He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
