I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
