im about as happy as oj after his trial
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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