I can tuck mytits in my pants
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
