im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
