Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
