I'm eating all of the evidence.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He better not be in your backpack
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
