I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
