You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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