so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
its not stalking. its research.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
