It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
