Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
