Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
