hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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