i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
