You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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