By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
