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Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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