I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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